Things To Do In London This Weekend: Jan 11 - 13

Not to be confused with Murder on the Orient Express, there’s no chance that this new immersive-theatre supper club – set on an art-deco steam train bound for the French town of, er, Murdér – could end in any foul play. Well, little chance. Er, maybe… But on the off-chance should any mishap SHOULD befall any of the 1920s-attired passengers (including a glamorous widow, a music-hall star and a shady businessman), rest assured that a night of suspense, intrigue and hammy detectives comes with three courses of top-notch food. Whodunnit? Elementary: it’s MasterChef winner Jane Devonshire. As for the other mystery, that’s up to you to solve. Better get channelling your inner Poirot, folks.

11 Jan-31 Mar; from £53

The Murdér Express, ‘Pedley Street Station’, Arch 63, Pedley St, Hackney, E2 6GS

At this theatrical extravaganza, it’s the quiet ones you’ve got to watch. But set aside all visions of beret-sporting, face-painted chaps trying to escape an invisible box –modern mime takes in everything from physical theatre to ice puppetry, circus, acrobatics, and, um, miniaturised human workers injected into people’s bodies. Obviously. Taking over venues including the Barbican, Soho Theatre and Shoreditch Town Hall, festival highlights include the Barely Methodical Troupe’s acrobatic spectacular Shift, Green Ginger’s journey inside the body in Intronauts, and Gecko’s ‘flurry of white dresses’ in The Wedding. So good, it’s unheard of.

Until 3 Feb; prices vary

London International Mime Festival, Various locations

Dry January continues. And so does our quest to find something interesting to drink that doesn’t involve gin. Here to help is the Mindful Drinking Festival: a one-day festival of wines, craft beers and cocktails… all without alcohol. Yup, teetolling gurus Club Soda are turning the Truman Brewery into a barn-storming but non-boozy party, full of tutored tastings, flavour pairings and masterclasses with the best alcohol-free drinks around. Mix a new mocktail, pair foods with teetotal wine, discover the best alternative G&T – and wake up the next day hangover free. With all your possessions. And your dignity. Bonus.

12-13 Jan; free

Mindful Drinking Festival, The Truman Brewery, 91 Brick Lane, E1 6QL

Something’s going on at Royal Festival Hall. It’s becoming… cool. As proven by the arrival of the latest restaurant from Spiritland. Which, actually, is way more than just a restaurant: it’s also a listening bar and (we quote) ‘dining room of sonic architecture’ featuring 1970s recording studio-style décor, a state-of-the-art sound system and one hell of an events line-up. Feed up on international sharing plates from the open-grill kitchen, and feed your ears as guest DJs play the cream of their collections till 2am every Thursday through Saturday night. Oh, and there’s a 110-strong wine list and even an oyster bar. See? COOL.

Now open

Spiritland, Royal Festival Hall, Belvedere Road, Southbank Centre, SE1 8XX

Sticking with the cool-stuff-happening-in-cultural-institutions theme (because why not), here’s the chance to fulfil your rap fantasies at the Tate Modern (because why not). Led by host Bobby Champagne, the Hip Hop Karaoke crew are bringing their raucous party to the Southbank on a mission to well and truly cheer up January. Because, let’s face it, it’s tough to be blue when you’re hollering along to Fuck the Police just metres away from the greatest masterpieces of modern art. Next up: laser quest at the National Portrait Gallery? Trampolining at the Transport Museum? We can but hope.

12 Jan; £10

Tate Modern Terrace Bar, Level 1 Blavatnik Building, Bankside, SE1 9TG

It’s January, which means we’re all donning dodgy Lycra and blundering through burpees. Possibly while getting screamed at by a psychotic ex-drill sergeant. But wait! It doesn’t have to be this way! Re:Solutions Festival is an altogether happier approach the health kick. Here you’ll find all manner of wellness workshops, from mass meditation to mindful drinking, nutrition to natural face packs, all with the aim of healing your body, mind and soul. From yoga at Equilibrium to good vibrations at the Candlelit Gong Bath to just breathing at, er, Just Breathing, you’re guaranteed to leave totally zen.

10-14 Jan; prices from £5

Re: Solutions, The Truman Brewery, 91 Brick Lane, E1 6QL