On a recent Friday night, my friend called me from the supermarket – she was standing in the wine aisle and wanted to know what I fancied drinking that night. We decided we should have something celebratory, so we settled on prosecco. It wasn’t that we were meeting up to mark a birthday or anything like that – my friend was just coming over for dinner to catch up. But in some ways, it felt like a special occasion. I’ve known this friend since we were 11 years old and she’s recently moved back to London, meaning that after 10 years, we’re finally living in the same city again.
That night, I cooked us dinner (an Ottolenghi pasta dish, if you’re wondering) and we didn’t stop talking until gone 1am. We put the world to rights, covering everything from weddings and babies (tell me you’re in your 30s without telling me you’re in your 30s etc) to work and current affairs. We got deep into some intense topics of conversation, but we also belly laughed until we wheezed. While our dinner wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, it struck me that there’s something incredibly restorative about having a meal with your girlfriends. Whether I’ve had a cr*p day at work and need to rant, or simply meeting up with friends I haven’t seen for weeks, those dinners always have the power to lift my spirits.
I’m not alone in my appreciation for a girls’ dinner (not to be confused with ‘girl dinner’, the trend for a meal consisting of ‘picky bits’ which blew up over summer. Although, to be honest, the two can definitely overlap). Taylor Swift has long been an advocate for celebrating female friendships – remember the whole girl squad thing? But in recent weeks, the singer has been repeatedly spotted going for dinner with her celebrity friends, including Sophie Turner, Blake Lively, and Zoë Kravitz. Turner and Swift’s recent dinners are particularly notable, as the actor is currently going through a divorce from her husband Joe Jonas, who is also the singer's ex. The pair even managed to squeeze in dinner twice in one week (no mean feat for a muggle like us, but particularly impressive for two celebrities with presumably very busy schedules). While we weren't privy to the pair's dinner conversation, photos show the pair leaving the restaurant together arm-in-arm, making it clear that these are two friends who know how to show up for each other when needed. There’s a sense that together, they’re stronger – and there’s a powerful message in that.
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The restorative power of a meal with your girlfriends is something that’s been explored on screen, too. It’s cropped up in everything from The Golden Girls (who were known for sitting around and gossiping over cheesecake) to Sex and the City – think how many times Carrie et al go for dinner or brunch and debrief about everything from one night stands to break ups. In Parks & Recreations, when Ann Perkins goes to break the news to her best pal Leslie Knopes that she’s thinking of leaving Pawnee, she does it over waffles to soften the blow. In Gilmore Girls, Rory and Lorelai are pretty much always talking things through over some sort of food, whether it’s burgers at Luke’s Diner or Pop-Tarts at home (and sure, they’re mother and daughter, but they’re also best pals, too).
My own experience of girls’ dinners goes back to my teenage years when me and my girlfriends would have an annual Christmas dinner together. Over the years it took many forms – from a not-so-elaborate meal of pesto pasta and garlic bread (we hadn’t really mastered that many dishes at this point), to roast dinners with all the trimmings, to abandoning cooking altogether and going out for a Turkish feast.
It went beyond Christmas dinners, too. When I was in my early 20s, one of my school friends came up with an idea. Having grown up in London, we’d all just moved back to the city after university. It was a weird time – we were taking the tentative first steps in our careers (or still working out what we wanted to do), and trying to find our feet as ‘proper’ adults. My friend suggested that our group of girlfriends should start a supper club. The idea was that we’d each take turns to host and cook dinner for each other. It didn’t need to be anything fancy, and it definitely wasn’t a three-course meal, but it was never really about the food – it was about us spending time together. Sure, finding a date that we could all do was never straightforward, but those meals were incredibly special – and gave us an opportunity to chew the fat about what was going on in our lives – whether it was exciting new relationships, problems at work or just some juicy gossip.
This was more than 10 years ago, and our girls’ WhatsApp group is still called Supper Club. Circumstances have changed a bit, though – many of us are living in different places and some have young kids now. But while our girls’ dinners might not be as frequent, or might be accompanied with the pitter patter of tiny feet, whenever we do get together for dinner, I know that I’ll leave feeling like all is right with the world. And now, more than ever, that feeling is a well-needed tonic.
